It is now completely official my son Rowan has been diagnosed Autistic. This is not a misdiagnosis. This is from many evaluations with many different groups of people over the past four months. This is also the belief of his three therapists who specialize in working with Autistic children. So these evaluations, along with the therapist summaries were included with his final evaluation which lasted about four hours. This final evaluation consisted of a team of four individuals who are experts in what they do. This paired with the fact that I have known he was Autistic since he was about a year old. This diagnosis is not just one opinion and being that I know it is a correct diagnosis I will not be seeking any more evaluations. His therapies will continue as they have been. He works with a speech, behavioral and occupational therapist each once a week. There is the hope that he will somehow be a high functioning Autistic person. I was told that the spectrum ranges from severe to mild. I was told that Rowan is not on either end of this spectrum. So I guess that leaves my little boy somewhere in the middle. Since the diagnosis we had yet another evaluation with DPS and this fall Rowan will begin attending a special school for Autistic children.
The worst part of this has been the reactions. It has been quite a learning experience for me. I have learned that a great amount of people still think it is 1950. They believe I should hide him away and/or believe it was caused by bad parenting. If you are still ignorant beyond belief and put butter on a burn let me educate you. Autism is not caused by "refrigerator moms." Autism is real and not a fake disorder used to describe unruly children. The neural pathways in an Autistic person are actually different from a "normal" or "neurotypical" individual. Autism is NOT a form of schizophrenia and is not considered a mental illness. Interestingly though many Autistic people do have elevated levels of Serotonin. Still currently there is no medical test to diagnose Autism. Yes, many of the things an autistic kid does your "normal" kid also does. To be considered Autistic there must be an impairment in social relationships, social communication and imaginative thought. There are 12 Characteristics an individual must display to be diagnosed. They are not sure what exactly causes Autism. There is a genetic predisposition that is then set off by some sort of environmental catalyst. There is not only one catalyst and the scientists hard at work can not even pin point a single cause. Many Autistic children do not have properly functioning immune systems so one theory is that they can not properly detoxify resulting in cumulative toxins in their bodies. That is where the vaccine scare comes in. They have found vaccine-strain measles virus in the spinal fluid of Autistic children and no one seems to know how it gets there. That paired with the mercury levels in the vaccine makes for quite a debate.
This past month has been horrific. It's sad because it didn't need to be at all. I would hope people would come together and show their love and support. I thought people would offer to help us with something, anything. Instead people dumped all their ignorant insecurities on us. Still as always without any help we are keeping at it and progressing. Rowan's vocabulary includes apple, corn, elephant, cat, dog, cow, circle, star, windmill, hay, fish, flower, car and the list goes on. His ability to say things and identify in a picture is growing. Though if you were to point at a car and say "What is that Rowan?" He would still ignore you. Rowan is helping to clean up a little and that is such a huge improvement. The other day at McDonalds I spilled my drink and Rowan started helping to clean it up. He kept putting my ice cubes back in my cup. I wanted to tell him "no," but I could tell he wanted to be helpful. On the opposite end of this the past two weeks his temper has grown as well. He growls "YES" for anything he wants to do. If I try to change his diaper, or turn off a movie, or transition to pretty much anything comes the "YES" growl to continue whatever it was he was doing. In his therapies we have learned a counting system that has really helped with transitions. So it's getting better. It's just his new intense use of the word "yes" that makes it seem worse than it is.
One amazing thing that I relish every single day is that Rowan now loves to snuggle. Months ago this was rare and months before that it was almost non-existent. I know he loves me, but for him to grab me and give me a big kiss just elevates it. Rowan does not say mom yet, but he can spell it. On Mother's day we were at the grocery store picking out some flowers. I was holding Rowan and heard him say M-O-M. I looked over and a big Mylar balloon had the letters MOM on it. I was pretty happy I just wish he knew what he had spelled and what the word meant. In therapy they have noticed that he is more open to them as well. At the park after five minutes in one spot I can now say to him "Rowan let's explore" and he will! In the past we went to one spot and spent the whole time there. Don't get me wrong he is still definitely on his own program, but at least now his program is broadening.
Sorry if this update sounds angry. It is just where I am right now. Since the diagnosis I have only had one person be supportive. Everyone else has treated me and/or my son terribly. There are some radical changes happening in our life and this anger won't last forever. I am willing to give people time to educate themselves. I am sorry to say that if you are not willing to be a positive and supportive force in our lives you won't be in it. It is heartbreaking to see just how cold, callous and selfish people really are and that is fine. You can live anyway you prefer. I chose to raise my son in love and not the hateful environment that I was raised in. So I am excited to see what the future has in store for us. I hope the people we care about will be along for the journey. I have given people in our life three years to show us some sort of support. I don't know what else to do, but to cut our loses and move on. It breaks my heart that the people who should be closest to us are the furthest. So it's your choice. You can stand around arrogant and judgmental or you can HELP us out. The choice is up to you. Don't get me wrong I love you, but I am exhausted and sucking energy that should go to my son is not allowed anymore.
May Videos - In the past a lot of these I would not have shared. Anytime Rowan would be acting "Autistic" I would not share the video or I wouldn't even tape it. I am ashamed that I did this. I love my son and everything about him. So if you don't get to see him to often you can have a better glimpse into how wonderfully unique he is =]
